


Show Your Love

by PinkBlossom



Category: NCIS
Genre: Dear John Letter, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:20:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25708090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkBlossom/pseuds/PinkBlossom
Summary: Reader leaves Gibbs a 'Dear John' letter and leaves.Will he be able to find them and change their mind?
Relationships: Jethro Gibbs/Reader
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	Show Your Love

**Author's Note:**

> I've tried to make the reader gender neutral. Please let me know if I've not quite managed it.

It was the hardest decision you’d ever made but as you closed the door on your motel room, you felt it had been the right one. That didn’t stop you feeling guilty. By now, Jethro would have read the ‘Dear John’ letter you’d left on his mantlepiece. You wondered if he’d actually miss you, he’d barely seen you in the last month.

Dropping your case, you eased off your shoes and lay down on the starched bedding. Travelling had not been kind to your muscles and you tried to get them to relax. You’d been so wound up about how your relationship had ended, you doubted your body could remember what it was like not to be in a tense state. As various aches and pains wracked your spine, you sat up, reaching for your bag for your bottle of water and your painkillers. You took out the new phone you had purchased, your old one having been taken apart of dropped in a bin not far from Jethro’ home. You’d been careful when selecting somewhere to run to and made it as difficult as possible for the Special Agent to find you knowing he’d find you out of stubbornness rather than a desire to put right what had gone so terribly wrong. You didn’t even know where the problem lay. All you knew if that the man you’d thought you loved had become someone who at home swayed between anger and apathy. Sure, you knew he could be difficult, umcommunicative and you’d be the mistress to the much more demanding wife that was his job, but you also knew he could be considerate, warm and even gentle.

It was the previous fall when things had changed. You’d been living together for a year having met the year before when a case bought Special Agent Gibbs and Special Agent McGee to your workplace, George Washington University, where you were a professor in mechanical engineering. You’d been able to advise the agents on the type of technology that they’d recovered from the home of a known domestic terrorist. A week after they’d closed the case, Gibbs had returned to offer his thanks and to ask you out to dinner.

That last fall, you’d been finishing up after a day’s work when McGee had turned up at your office to tell you Jethro had been seriously injured in a high speed crash and to take you straight to the hospital. Indeed the doctors told you to expect the worst and you spent the next few days in limbo, surrounded by his team as you all hoped for a miracle. A week later that miracle happened, and he was taken off the ventilator. You’d joked that it was much less the sign of a miracle and more a indication of how stubborn the man was, refusing to conform to what everyone else had thought was his demise.

You got him home and while you never expected him to be a model patient, his mood swings and his detached persona made him near impossible to deal with. In time his body healed but his demeanour did not. You couldn’t quite believe it when he passed a psych evaluation to go back to work but he’d had years of practise at convincing everyone he was just fine. He deceived himself that he was fine to the point he was convincing. He seemed a different person at work while at home, the layers of untreated trauma made any kind of relationship near to impossible. Eventually he started to avoid you. At first you worried about him but then you didn’t have the anxiety of wondering what mood he was in. If he ever was in the house at the same time as you, he’d spend most of it in his basement.

That’s when you knew it was time to leave. You had to get away for a bit so you waited until spring break and booked this motel in New York state for a week. You used cash to get the train tickets and rented an apartment in DC so you had somewhere to go once your week was up. If Gibbs wanted to find you after that you’d talk, but you needed the break and for him to have some time to reflect on what he wanted.

The week passed quietly. You’d enjoyed the space and had explored the state as much as you could. The journey back was arduous but once you were home, you were able to get yourself in to a new routine. As you finally got yourself back on the grid, you knew sooner or later Jethro would find you and that happened the Friday after you started back at work.

***********************

Everyone at NCIS was on the receiving end of Gibbs’ wrath. It was Spring Break so there was talk of holidays and plans among those lucky enough to snare the time off while those with kids discussed what the had planned. He turned up on the Monday morning and barked orders at everyone. There was no case to keep them all busy so they took it in turns to escape to Abby’s lab to discuss what had turned their team leader in to a bear with a sore head. McGee had some insight although he knew better to share it. Gibbs had asked him to ping (y/n)’s phone. Believing they had misplaced it, he told his boss that it’s last location was in fact his own house but the battery might have died as it hadn’t moved since Friday. This had not helped his mood and he’s asked McGee send him their credit card statements and if they'd booked any flights. When McGee came back with nothing of note, Gibbs mood darkened even more. The team were relieved when a case came up on Tuesday. It was bad news for the petty officer but a relief to the NCIS agents.

The following Monday, Gibbs mood was still and no one in the bullpen dare speak. McGee did another search for (y/n) and to his relief they started to turn up in searches. A new tenancy agreement, a new phone. He wanted to tell Gibbs but he didn’t want his boss to think he was prying. So when Gibbs was called to Vance’s office just as they were about to go home, he printed of details of the tenancy agreement and left them in an envelope on Gibbs’ desk before leaving the building

***********************************

Gibbs knew he had behaved badly but it was his way of coping with the aftermath of that car crash. He’d been so disorientated when he first came round. He saw Shannon and Kelly a great deal and that gave him some peace but when they disappeared to be replaced by tubes entering his body and machines bleeping , he felt he’d descended to hell and seeing his wife and child had been a cruel trick. The Friday he’d realised (Y/N) had gone, he’d decided to blot it all out with Bourbon. He did this all weekend putting him on a crash course with the week ahead. By Monday he wanted to find them and put things right. Obviously, they’d paid attention when he’d talked about tracking people and initial searches proved fruitless. Once a case came up, he threw himself in to solving that in a bid to think about something else. When Tim had left the copy of (y/N)’s new tenancy agreement on his desk, he saw it as a sign that maybe it was time to approach them.

**************************************

You’d got home just after 6pm and started to prepare something to eat. You always made far too much but you figured it would do you later in the week. Just as you were about to plate up your door intercom sounded. You knew it was Jethro before you even got to the speaker. You let him up and immediately started to plate him up some food too. If nothing it would break the ice on your first meeting since you ended it.

He was quiet, but then he always was a man of few words. He accepted the plate of food graciously and sat opposite you and tucked in. You even found him a beer to go with his meal. Once you were done eating you started to clear the plates away. The silence hung heavy in the air and you wondered who would be the first to break it. It wasn’t until you sat in the lounge that Gibbs broke it.

‘I know I’ve been a bastard to you these last few weeks. Will you let me make it up to you?’ he said, those steel-blue eyes pleading for the forgiveness his lips never could.

You sighed. You’d thought long and hard about this. Truth was you loved him deeply and while you felt he loved you, you knew he didn’t always show it. But there was no getting away from the last few month. It had fundamentally changed how you saw him. You knew that side of Gibbs existed, but you had hoped you wouldn’t witness it. Now you had, it was going to be hard to build up that trust again. You’d be hurt by the way he had shunned you.

‘That might be possible in the future but I think we need to take a step back for a while.’ You replied, watching him for a hint of a reaction. Even with his best poker face you could tell that wasn’t the answer he was wanting. You let the silence continue. He took a step closer to you, almost as if to rail against what you had just said.

‘I love you, (y/n). I don’t know how else to say it you,’ he pleaded.

‘Show me then,’ you challenged him.

He studied you, trying to read your mind. ‘How?’ he asked. His arms open and asking the same question.

You thought for a second. ‘I want you to go and talk to someone, someone who can help you work through all the stuff that’s happened to you. I know you don’t like shrinks Jethro but something has got to change.’ You pleaded, your eyes set on him.

You knew you’d asked him the earth. He’d rather go into a gunfight outnumbered 10 to 1 than talk to someone about what he was feeling.

‘It’s up to you. I understand either way,’ you said softly, your hand gently rubbing his arm

He nodded, stepped forward, kissed you gently on the cheek, and made his exit.

******************************

You sat patiently in the waiting room, pretending to read your magazine. You had checked your watch constantly over the last hour. Just when you were about to end out a search party, you spotted him walking towards you. He gave you half a smile. This was a milestone; he’d just completed his first therapy session and you were so unbelievably proud of him. You’d offered to be with him every step along the way. As he stood in front of you, there was clearly a lot going on in that stubborn head. Without saying a word, you took his hand and together you walked out of the clinic.


End file.
